‘I’m looking for a man in finance’ — here’s why TikTok’s viral video is no joke

Personal finance

Finance bros are having a moment.

Just ask content creator Megan Boni, who posted a clip from her account @girl_on_couch on April 30 hashing out a new song. The lyrics are simply: “I’m looking for a man in finance, trust fund, 6’5”, blue eyes…” Her 20-second video has more than 38 million views and counting.

A representative for Boni did not immediately respond to a request for comment from CNBC, but Boni recently told People that the song was intended to poke fun at women who complained about being single but also had high expectations for potential partners.

“It was just making fun of that,” she said.

According to “Fair Play” author Eve Rodsky, “You can joke about things if they don’t feel serious to you, but it’s sort of like joking about reproductive rights.”

“It comes back to not understanding our history,” Rodsky said.

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Still, there are many reasons why the lyrics resonated with millions of TikTok users.

“We’ve heard so much about how bad the dating apps are, how dire the dating landscape is,” said Casey Lewis, a social media trend expert and founder of trend newsletter After School.

“There are a lot of single women who are looking but not finding what they want,” Lewis added.

‘Lock down a man in finance, then you’re kind of made’

The search for a wealthy “finance guy” comes at a time when more women report feelings of frustration and financial vulnerability.

“There’s this feeling that no matter how hard women work … we’re still barely making ends meet,” Lewis said.

Although women are achieving increasing levels of education and representation in senior leadership positions at work, they still earn just 84 cents for every dollar earned by men, according to an analysis of U.S. Census Bureau data by the National Women’s Law Center. It’s a dynamic that has shown no significant signs of improvement in decades.

“There’s this sort of feeling like, ‘If I just lock down a man in finance,'” Lewis said, “then you’re kind of made.”

“The finance guy can probably take care of you and shower you with nice things — it’s appealing,” she added.

A return to traditional gender roles

The idea of seeking out a finance man comes on the heels of TikTok’s “tradwife” and “stay-at-home girlfriend” trends, which also glamorize a return to traditional gender roles and stereotypes.

However, landing a Wall Street-type does not guarantee financial security, Rodsky said. “When you enter an arrangement like this, you are taking a huge economic risk,” Rodsky said.

Once you have ceded power, and your partner has the economic advantage, you are especially vulnerable, she explained. “There is often a misalignment of expectations,” Rodsky added.

So “if you are going to do it, do it with a prenup or postnup,” she said.

‘Prenuptial agreements can get very dicey’

If you plan to wed, it may be worth determining how you and your spouse would each protect your assets and financial interests in case you end up going your separate ways.

And if it’s “the man in finance with a trust fund,” he and his family will likely have a greater interest in protecting the family wealth — as well as the resources to make sure the agreement reflects that, said Heather Boneparth, a writer and former corporate attorney who now runs business affairs for Bone Fide Wealth, a wealth management firm based in New York City.

“It’s not nefarious and doesn’t mean they are trying to pull one over on you; it’s just probably the truth,” Boneparth said.

Having your own legal representation from a separate firm will help you negotiate the contract and meet your needs without a conflict of interest, said Kelly Schwab, a family and matrimonial attorney at Chemtob, Moss, Forman and Beyda, LLP in New York City.

“It’s not a joint venture. Prenuptial agreements can get very dicey,” Schwab said.

If handled wisely, you can use the prenup as a level of protection by including certain guardrails, such as an equalization clause, which requires one spouse to pay the other a fixed amount should they divorce, said Julia Rodgers, a family attorney, co-founder and CEO of HelloPrenup, an online platform for affordable prenup agreements.

Overall, “you need to fully understand and feel comfortable with what you’re signing,” said Boneparth.

Marriage is ‘also an economic arrangement’

For better or worse, money plays a big role in most relationships.

“Marriage is a union of love, but it’s also an economic arrangement,” said Stacy Francis, a certified financial planner and president and CEO of Francis Financial in New York.

And regardless of who has greater financial resources or earning capacity, both partners should be involved in decisions about money, said Francis, who is also a member of the CNBC Financial Advisor Council.

“For women, it’s building their financial confidence,” she said.

“When it comes to dollars and cents, you need to be able to take care of yourself and not 100% solely rely on a man,” she added.

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