The approaching holidays provide a great opportunity to gain valuable insights that will help you better plan your retirement. Instead of enduring awkward silences or rehashing politics, ask your retired friends and relatives thoughtful questions about their life in retirement. It’s win-win—you’ll avoid tense topics, and your relatives and friends will appreciate the chance to share their hard-earned wisdom.
Many retirees report that close relationships are very important for a satisfying and happy retirement. By engaging with your close relatives and friends, you’ll make them feel valuable and helpful. And some day, you’ll be able pass along your accumulated wisdom to help your younger relatives and friends.
Thought-Provoking Questions For Retirees
Start with this question: What do you like about your retirement?
You might hear they like not waking up to an alarm clock, not needing to answer to “the boss,” and not lying awake at night worrying about work. You might also hear some positive answers, such as the freedom of time to pursue activities, travel, or reconnect with family and friends, and the opportunity to take steps to improve their health.
You might also hear answers that surprise you and could trigger your own reflections. For example, some retirees have causes that they’re passionate about and volunteer their time. Others might enjoy learning how to play a musical instrument or ballroom dancing. Maybe their interests will be something you’d like to pursue in your own retirement.
Follow up with this question: What don’t you like about your retirement?
Common answers often include missing their work friends and the money they made during their working years. Some people also felt stimulated by the challenges they faced on the job. If you think these issues might apply to you, you could consider taking a semi-retirement, which would bring in some money and give you a social outlet but also provide you with more time to pursue your interests.
Here’s another follow-up question: What do you regret and wish you’d done differently with your retirement planning?
Common answers might include that they retired too early or, conversely, retired too late. Their answers can help you think about when it might be best for you to retire, which, for most people, is the most important retirement decision.
Other common answers can include not saving enough money for retirement and not planning enough activities to keep them engaged with life. If you’re like many people, hearing their regrets can motivate you to develop plans that will help you avoid making the same mistakes.
You might also consider asking them this question: What are you struggling with now?
Some older retirees might have stayed too long in that big house in the suburbs, which can be expensive to maintain and isolating if they’re less able to drive. Hearing this regret might help you reflect on the best place for you to live in retirement.
Older retirees might also be struggling with health issues, which can help motivate you to take care of your own health. And retirees who are widowed might regret that they didn’t prepare sufficiently for living alone.
Of course, you might have your own questions that relate to the issues you’re facing, so you could wrap up with this question: What advice do you have for me, given what you know about me?
FYI: Recent research from the Stanford Center on Longevity shows that hearing stories from people who are similar to you can strongly influence how you think about retirement. These stories can motivate you to spend more time on your planning, which will likely lead to better outcomes for you.
Given all you could learn, take time during the holidays to give your retired relatives and friends the chance to help you by passing along their advice from their lived experience. The only challenge might be that they’ll talk so long, you’ll want to move on to other topics!