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“I would either not even think about solutions because I was so wrapped up in the problem, or if I did think about solutions, I would focus on how to solve the problem in its entirety. I was literally looking for perfection. It seemed hopeless, so I had literally stopped trying.”
That is a quote from my client, Rick Scheeler. At the recommendation from his managing partner, Rick hired me for a year to see what I could do for him. Rick was working 80 hour weeks, making a decent salary, but with a family of 6, mortgage, and college loans, money was still tight. It seemed impossible to work less hours and make more money, but I told him that there is always a solution, always.
The key to moving forward in life is to know that we have control. No matter the situation, there is always something we can do to improve. We have control if we choose to have control.
Remember these three points:
- There is always a solution. Always.
- It is important to focus on what you DO have instead of what you DO NOT have, even when it is really hard to do so.
- In tough times, it is essential to fight the urge to focus on what isn’t going well, but rather to be relentless about recognizing what you are doing well.
So, we went to work on Rick’s schedule. “Jason, I can’t afford to work less. My family needs this income.” I gently reminded him, “Rick, there is always a solution. Always. We just need to open our minds and find it.” Rick decided he would set his hours instead of always working day in day out with no boundaries set. He set a 7 am start, 7 pm end, and 5 hours on Saturday. This was already a 15 hour improvement. He found he was more productive and had more energy to get the work done and spend time with his family.
Twelve months later, Rick was working approximately 65 hours weekly, his income had risen to over $350,000 annually, (from $280,000) and most important, he was significantly happier. Rick made a point to tell me that his happiness wasn’t tied to the money, but rather to feeling so much more in control of his life. He had more time to spend with his family, and he could put more energy into being a great husband and father. Rick made significant progress in his life because he focused on small improvements, rather than perfection.
This is just one example of RSF. Relentless Solution Focus (RSF) is simply defined as within 60 seconds, replacing all negative thoughts with solution-focused thinking. Although simple in definition, at times this can be extremely difficult to do. RSF is mental toughness. They are one in the same. Most people these days are so overwhelmed by trying to get everything checked off their to-do lists or living up to other people’s expectations that being relentless about coming up with solutions doesn’t even cross their minds. I want you to know that just because being solution focused is rare, it doesn’t mean you can’t learn to do it. In fact, I will tell you that it is essential for you to learn to be relentless. There will be times when you don’t want to believe that there is a solution to a problem you are facing. Being relentless means that you know there is always a solution. Always.